https://camedy.bestbb.ru/ Смех и только смех)))))))) ru-ru Mon, 01 Jan 2024 05:02:32 +0300 MyBB/mybb.ru https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=11#p11 <p><span style="display: block; text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 24px">Профессиональные услуги клининга</span></strong></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160;<span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="display: block; text-align: center">Профессиональные услуги клининга: уборка после ремонта, генеральная, поддерживающая, химчистка мягкой мебели, удаление жировых отложений на кухне парогенератором, мытье окон + альпинист и многое другое. Мы также предлагаем ЭКО-чистку детских игрушек, колясок, комнат и различных предметов. Заказ по тел. +7 915 204 1047 Наш канал: t.me/wwcleaning Москва и Московская область</span></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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Куда ты пресси с похмела? Ууф!..ох-ох…Хуже меня только рту и голове! Мама, роди нас всех обратно!.. Эй, только кофе не пей, а то я тебе его верну прям на клавиатуру! Слышь, братан, минералочки бы?.. <br />Обед: ну чо? Сидим? А мож это, к девкам на ресепшн сходим? У них бутеры бывают… <br />А, ну да, перегар… Эх. Ну ладно, тогда сидим. Это, слышь? В общем рассольничку бы, а? <br />Вечер: пельмени богатырские, смерзшиеся – один большой пельмень. Сварил, засунул - перевариваю. Пытаюсь расщепить на составные – хрен: единая атомарная мясо-мучная масса. Ну да ничо, мы после армии: тушенку 56-го года не пукнув переваривали! А вот за пиво, спасибо, братан! <br />Ночь: 3 часа, полет нормальный! Пельмень подавлен и готов прекратить сопротивление. Продукты распада пельменя будут готовы к 8-00 по Москве, витамины из пива извлечены и поделены между органами согласно договоренности. Отбой! </p> <p>Вторник. </p> <p>Утро: Эу, чувак! Где моя утренняя сигарета?! Что значит купить забыл, что за невнимание к жизненно важным органам! Давай, по-быстрому, а то я щас тошнить тебя начну! А, гад! Не любишь тошнить-то! «Парламент»! «Парламент», жмотло! На здоровье не экономят! <br />Обед: Глютамат натрия, разрыхлитель, питьевая сода, загуститель Е 412, усилитель вкуса и аромата, аджитайт, кусочки картона. Слышь, братан, а с чем сегодня «Доширак»? С курицей? Передайте там по кишечнику: кусочки картона считать курицей! <br />Вечер: два Биг Мака, картошка по-деревенски, курица в панировке. Ребра, подвиньтесь – у нас еще пирожок! Ик. Ик. Ик. Ик. Я доволен, спасибо, братишка! <br />Ночь: переварил ужин - глютамат натрия, разрыхлитель, питьевая сода, усилитель вкуса и аромата, аджитайт, кусочки картона. И еще я жрать хочу. </p> <p>Среда. </p> <p>Утро: Первая пошла! Ххорошо. Кофе. Вторая: затяжка, еще затяжка – кайф! <br />Обед: Доширак не купили, девочки на ресепшине на диете - дуры! - питаемся крошками из клавиатуры. Вечером пиво с мужиками. <br />Вечер: Пиво! Колбаски! Картошка! Капуста! Мужики! Футбол! О, телка! Член, слышь, чувиха подкатила! Не, ну вот это кайф! <br />Ночь: хотим писать, но стесняемся – романтика, блин, чувиха рядом сопит. Так, давай, осторожненько - опа. Тихонько, поднимаемся, где тут у нее тубзик-то? Есть!.. Ай.. хорошо. О, кухня. Ну, давай позырим, чо такого-то? Холодильник. Ну что, что «Юрюзань», зато вместительный! Маа-ать моя! Сколько всего! Стой, куда пошел! Давай, котлетку и колбаски, редисочки, и по-быстрому назад - всего делов-то, она и не проснулась!.. </p> <p>Четверг. </p> <p>Утро: Матерь! Омлет! Настоящий! И кофе настоящий, и бутер с маслицем! ВОТ ЭТО, БЛИН, МЫ УДАЧНО ЗАШЛИ! Куда побёг, телефон возьми, дурень! И поцелуй, поцелуй нежно, урод, и на вечер договорись!!! <br />Обед: позвони ей. Позвони и скажи, что соскучился и приедешь вечером. К ужину. Давай, звони уже! Вот, молодец! Господи, только не испорти! Значит так, покупаешь цветы и… и .. вот тут член снизу подсказывает – Мартини. А борщ она варить умеет, интересно?.. Судя по котлетам – должна. <br />Вечер: Аааххх, оххх… нет сил писать… Ик. Ой, прости, это я от счастья, она не видела, она остатки мяса с черносливом в холодильник убирала. Ну, блин! Ай! Мама моя! Дессерт!.. <br />Ночь: тихонько встаем, и по протоптанной дорожке… Здорово, холодильник! Мясо-о, ты где? Иди сюда… <br />Позже: слышь, член, я доволен, а ты? Я отсюда не уйду! Эй, там, сердце! Короче: нас с членом все устраивает, так что ты там давай уже тоже, трепещи или чего там тебе положено делать. А то я тебе войну холестериновую устрою, а член гормональный кризис! </p> <p>Пятница. </p> <p>Утро: сосиски - нормальда! Ах.. !!! Яйца в мешочек!.. Нам… нам так мамочка варила в детстве!.. Ах! Я даже про сигарету забыл!.. <br />Обед: сердце готово! Позвони ей, скажи, что курицу жаренную любишь. С пюрешечкой, как мамочка делала. Позвони! Что?.. Она сегодня занята? Как?.. Что?! Где?!! Что за хамство?! Она тебе изменяет! У нее другой парень!.. <br />Полдень: все бабы суки. Мы ее полюбили, а она нас послала. Кто ОН?! Кто этот ублюдок?! <br />Вечер: Нну, бблин, тты пойми, сссердце, им жи н-низззя верить ващще: сначала яичко в ммешочек… ик… а ппотом всссе, уходи, я ббуду другому пюрешеччку давить! <br />Ночь: ббратан, мы должны ввернутьсся, у насс там в холодильнике мяс-со осталось! Ссердце, не сскули, мы с членом вссе уладим! Давай, купи ей веник, торт и вперед. Оссторожно, дверь открываетсся – ой, ну какая прелесссть, она в футболочке! На колени! Сердце, давай:- Я т-тебя люблю! Выходи за меня з-замуж!.. <br />Поздняя ночь: здорово, «Юрюзанюшка»! Имя у тебя, конечно… Еврей? Ну, мы седня пересрали, в общем… Да не, ну теперь все нормально вроде, завтра переезжаем. Мясо, ты где?..</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:57:43 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=9#p9 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=8#p8 <p>Понедельник. </p> <p>Утро: Так-ак: Оделась, вышла из дома и потащилась на работу. А завтракать кто будет? Где моя каша?! Ага, давай, покури еще. А вот я тебе сейчас кульбитик! Опа! Плохо, да? Нечего курить на голодный желудок. Что происходит вообще?! <br />День: Ну все ясно, в субботу ей показалось, что у нее целлюлит и с понедельника мы на диете. Блин! А меня кто-нибудь спросил вообще?! Ну нет, я тебе не чёлка, со мной такие эксперименты не пройдут! Включаем среднее бурление. Эээ: нет уж, красавица, засунь свой кефирчик себе знаешь куда! Усиливаем бурление, добавляем звуковых эффектов, готовимся к показательным кульбитам. <br />Вечер: ЖРАТЬ ХОЧУ!!! ХОЧУ ЖРА-АТЬ! ДАЙТЕ ЕДЫ! Я ТРЕБУЮ СВИНУЮ ОТБИВНУЮ!!! ЖРААААААТЬ!!! <br />Ночь: Хрен тебе, а не сон! Не заткнусь, сама дура - я голодный. Есть хочу, понимаешь?! Мне до твоей диеты фиолетово. Я. Хочу. Есть. Ну давай, ага, попробуй заснуть! Борщику бы сейчас, со сметанкой. </p> <p>Вторник. </p> <p>Утро: Та-а-ак!.. Продолжаем мучить меня, да? Я опять без каши, да? Твой капустный листик пищевод с голодухи переварил, до меня даже не дошло ничего! Блин, ну и дура мне досталась! Всю ночь завидовал желудку Натальи Крачковской. <br />День: Силы мои на исходе, посылаю импульсы в мозг, мозг посылает эти импульсы в задницу, из задницы еще так просто никто не возвращался. Блин, что же делать? Кефир опять. НЕ ЛЮБЛЮ КЕФИР!!! <br />Вечер: Бурлю из последних сил - не обращает на меня внимания, гадина. <br />Ночь: А еще вкусно, если молодую картошечку обжарить в сливочном масле с корочкой золотистой, и со сметанкой, или вот, грибы. Очень вкусно можно пожарить! бурлл!! </p> <p>Среда. </p> <p>Утро: Перепало чуть-чуть салата - растет же на земле такая дрянь!.. Стал забывать вкус каши - что-то нежное, теплое, обволакивающее. бу-урллл!! <br />День: Ура!! Кефирчик! Кефирчик! Еще хочу, не отнимай, ааааа! ЕЩЕ КЕФИРУ!!! <br />Вечер: От меня ничего не осталось - надо мной ржут органы малого таза. Я ссохся, сжался! Еле переварил две редиски, теряю квалификацию. <br />Ночь: Вот, помню, когда мы жили у родителей, каждый вечер на ужин суп был! И салат. И второе с мясным гарниром - мы с папиным желудком в два голоса журчали от удовольствия: Эх, и чего тебя понесло в самостоятельную жизнь?!. </p> <p>Четверг. </p> <p>Утро: Хоть бы не курила! Прости, дорогая, это я непроизвольно - ну да ничего, я ж пустой, так что потошнит и отпустит: А где положенный мне салат?! ГДЕ САЛАТ?! Беспредел! <br />День: Здорово, кефир! Надо тебя помедленнее переваривать, а то сиди тут потом до завтра один, как дурак. <br />Вечер: Разговаривал с кишечником - они там тоже все в шоке, говорят, что запасы на исходе. Нельзя же так - последнее отбирать! Ой,ой, осторожнее! Такие большие сливы - и все мне?! Блин, все, пошел переваривать! <br />Ночь: Эти дувацкие сливы - фсе никак не допевевавиваю их, замучився весь!..Простите ребята, отправляю вам, что могу - вы уж там дальше сами с ними разбирайтесь, вас там 8 метров, а я один: </p> <p>Пятница. </p> <p>Раннее утро: Сидим в сортире, провожаем сливы. <br />Утро: С ума сойти! Я получил йогурт! Может сливы вправили ей мозги?! Почаще бы! Вот бы на обед картошечки! С курицей! <br />Обед: Кефир. И родина щедро поила желудочным соком тебя. <br />Вечер: Сидим в ресторане с мужиком каким-то и нюхаем чужую еду. Ну. Давай же! Закажи себе чего-нибудь! Мы всю неделю не жрали! Тихо! Он ей сказал, что она сильно похудела! Что ей надо питаться! Что она отлично выглядит! Ну?! Ай, умничка! Ай, да мужчина!!! Есть! Проняло! Сейчас я буду жрать!!! <br />Поздний вечер: Нууу.. бурлл: чтто-то во мне понамешшшл-ла: Эт-то у нас ч-что? Грибы! а эта! ик! Мартини: бу-бурллл! о, водочка! уважаю! Как же хорошо, братцы! Заткнись, печень, всссе под контролем!.. <br />Ночь: Прощайте, грибочки! Водочка, прощай! Картошечка!... Чтоб ты подавился, Ихтиантдр! Как подумаю, сколько добра пропадает! <br />О, минералочка, заходи, мы как раз на диете</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:56:50 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=8#p8 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=7#p7 <p>- Ты зачем юзерпик поменял, дурик? </p> <p>- Один Аллах ведает, куда деваются комментарии у этого недостойного выродка! Да отсохнет его рейтинг &quot;Яндекс&quot; во веки веков! Будь проклят тот день, когда я стал модератором этого комьюнити! </p> <p>- А ну, канай отсюда! <br />- Точно! И пусть канает! А не то я ему рога поотшибаю, пасть порву, моргалы выколю, в каменты насру и забаню! Всю жизнь в Абьюс Тим писать будешь! Сарделька! Сосиска! Редиска! Киса-ку-ку! Юзер Гамбургский! <br />- Так бы сразу и сказал. </p> <p>- Я поняла, Сеня! Я всё поняла! У тебя там не открытое комьюнити, а ЗАКРЫТОЕ! </p> <p>- Огласите всю фрэндленту, пжалста... </p> <p>- Деточка. А вам не кажется, что ваше место на дне рейтинга &quot;Яндекс&quot;! </p> <p>- Забанили. Забанили, демоны! </p> <p>- Ну, может быть на Западе собака - друг человека. А у нас - куратор - друг человека! </p> <p>- И привлечь её внимание простым, естественным вопросом... А вы что спросили? <br />- Киса, с какого ты района. <br />- В три часа ночи? Идиот! </p> <p>- Нехороший ты человек, Косой... Злой, как Антон Носик. </p> <p>- Учись, студент! Кто не работает - тот пишет в блогах! </p> <p>- Га-га-га! Во деревня! Ну ты даёшь! Ктож его забанит? Он же ТЯСЯЧНИК! </p> <p>Не жди, модератор, покоя на сайте. <br />Твой сайт не такой, как был вчера. <br />Его наводнили падонки-первонахи <br />И жизнь твоя - вечный &quot;первый нах&quot;. </p> <p>- Сан-Саныч. Давай червонец, пожалуйста. Платный аккаунт покупать буду. </p> <p>- Как вам не стыдно! Она готовиться стать матерью! <br />- А я готовлюсь стать тысячником! </p> <p>- Гражданина! Ты туда не пиши, ты сюда пиши! А то СУП башка попадёт, совсем мёртвый журнал будеш! </p> <p>- Ну всё, студент! Скоро в компьютерном салоне тебе соберут деревянный &quot;Макинтош&quot;, а в твоём &quot;Айподе&quot; будет играть музыка... Но ты её не услышишь! </p> <p>- Шурик! <br />- А? <br />- Вы тысячник? <br />- Ага. <br />- Это же не наш метод! </p> <p>- Кто напишет каментов пачку, тот получит... <br />- Водокачку! А если не будут писать заморозим аккаунты. </p> <p>- Да здравствует наш СУП! Самый гуманный СУП в мире!</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:54:15 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=7#p7 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=6#p6 <p>24 ч.05 мин. <br />-Але…ты спишь? <br />-…ауоэ…нет! Конечно нет! Мой зайчик, девочка моя, я так счастлив… <br />- Мне тоже не спится. Мы теперь будем всегда вместе? <br />- Да! <br />- Я буду твоя любимая женушка, а ты мой муженек? <br />- Да! Да , мой котенок! <br />- Я теперь знаю , что такое счастье. Все. Спи, пупусик, я буду тебе сниться. Люблю… <br />- Я тоже… </p> <p>01ч.05 мин. <br />- Але! Ты не спишь еще? <br />- Ээээуаоо…кто это…? <br />- Это я , твой зайчонок! <br />- …Зайчонок? Люська, ты что ли? <br />- Любимый! Я тут думаю , ведь у нас будут дети! Я хочу мальчика и девочку! Ты не против? <br />- ээ…нет конечно, Люська , второй час уже… <br />- Все , спи. Спи родной мой. Чмоки-чмоки! <br />- Чмок. Спокойной ночи. </p> <p>02 ч. 09 мин. <br />-Але… пупусик , мне не спится. <br />- Але….какой пупусик…? <br />- Ты что не узнаешь меня? Ах ты сонное чудовище! Твоя зайка сейчас рассердится! <br />- Ну…зайка…рассердится…ааауууоооо…это ты, Люська? <br />- Я сейчас подумала, ты представляешь , у нас будет обязательно собственный дом! Возле озера! А прямо за ним- лес! Мы там будем собирать грибы… <br />- Люсь, какие грибы в три часа ночи… <br />- А…извини, пупусику завтра рано вставать. <br />- Сегодня… <br />- Ах, да, сегодня! Спи, милый, целую, родной мой… </p> <p>03 ч. 12 мин. <br />- Але… Игорь, прости пожалуйста… <br />- ….*ля… <br />- Что ты сказал? <br />- …Люда…мне через три часа вставать. Давай все разговоры на завтра.Хорошо? <br />- (короткие гудки) </p> <p>03ч.58 мин. <br />- Ааалее…Игорь, я плачу… как ты можешь спать! <br />- Кто это? <br />- Это яааа…зааайка…. <br />- Какая нахер зайка! Дайте мне поспать! (бросает трубку) </p> <p>04ч.30 мин. <br />- Але! <br />- Коза тупорогая!Я спать хочу! Я ж живой человек! <br />- Игорь , это мама Людмилы. <br />- Что случилось! <br />- Людочка сказала мне, что Вы предложили ей руку и сердце… <br />Так вот,мне бы хотелось поговорить с Вами о свадьбе. <br />- Какое, мля, сердце! Какую , нахер , руку! Пять часов утра! Не спится тебе , старая дура! Застрелитесь вы со своей Людкой и свадьбой !Совы , мля ! Ночные бабочки! Дайте мне час поспать спокойно! СВАДЬБЫ! НЕ БУДЕТ!</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:53:13 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=6#p6 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=5#p5 <p>1. Чтобы спереди погладить, нужно сзади полизать. <br />2. Кругом волоса, посредине колбаса. <br />3. Сверху черно внутри красно, как засунешь так прекрасно. <br />4. Волос на волос, тело на тело и начинается темное дело. <br />5. То холодный - то горячий, то висячий - то стоячий. <br />6. Туда - сюда - обратно, тебе и мне приятно. <br />7. Что ты смотришь на меня? Раздевайся, я твоя! <br />8. Волосатая головка за щеку заходит ловко. <br />9. Мы - ребята удалые, лазим в щели половые! <br />10. Лежит на спине - никому не нужна. Прислони к стене - пригодится она. <br />11. В темной комнате, на белой простыне 2 часа удовольствия. <br />12. Ты помни его немножко, станет твердым как картошка. <br />13. Возьму его в руки, сожму его крепко - он станет упругим и твердым как репка. <br />14. Красная головка в дырку лезет ловко <br />15. Маленькая, черная, сморщенная - есть у каждой женщины. <br />16. Если б не бабушкины лохматушки - мерзли бы дедушкины колотушки. <br />17. Не хрен, не морковка - красная головка. <br />18. Сзади подошел, сунул и пошел. <br />19. Как хорошо тебе и мне, когда лежишь ты на спине ... <br />20. Беру двумя руками, сую между ногами... . <br />21. У какого молодца утром капает с конца. </p> <p>Ответы <br />1. (Почтовая марка) <br />2. (Кукуруза) <br />3. (Галоши) <br />4. (Веки) <br />5. (Душ) <br />6. (Качели) <br />7. (Кровать) <br />8. (Зубная щетка) <br />9. (Веник) <br />10. (Лестница) <br />11. (Кино) <br />12. (Снежок) <br />13. (Снежок) <br />14. (Дятел) <br />15. (Изюминка) <br />16. (Варежки) <br />17. (Пионер в пилотке) <br />18. (Тапочки) <br />19. (Ежик с яблоком) <br />20. (велосипед). <br />21. (кран) </p> <p>Источник</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:51:36 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=5#p5 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=4#p4 <p>- Эй. Проснись! Э-э-э-й! <br />- М-м-м. Отстань. <br />- Эй, ну проснись! <br />- Отъявись пожалуйста. <br />- Что?! Ну проснись же ты! <br />- Бл*! Ты кто?! <br />- Я кто?! Ну ты наглый! Это ты кто! <br />- Я Саша, очень приятно. Тьфу. Блин. Ты чего здесь делаешь? <br />- Я то сплю, а вот ты чего здесь делаешь?! <br />- Э-э-э. Вообще-то это моя квартира. <br />- Да?! <br />- Да. Так что это ты чего здесь делаешь! <br />- Не знаю. А у нас это. Ну. Было? <br />- Что? <br />- Ну это. <br />- Что это?! <br />- Идиот. Посмотри под одеялом, ты голый? <br />- Я да. <br />- А я? <br />- Я стесняюсь смотреть. Смотри сама. <br />- Мне страшно. <br />- Хы, тогда точно ничего не было. <br />- Дурак. Вот возьму и посмотрю. <br />- Смотри. Ну, что там? <br />- У меня трусы на коленях. <br />- Странно. Может ты реппер? Гы-гы. <br />- Сам ты реппер. Признавайся! Воспользовался мной?! <br />- Да надо больно! Чо это я тобой пользоваться буду, тем более ты трусы на коленях носишь. <br />- Да это ты их и снял туда! <br />- Нафиг мне тебе трусы на колени стаскивать? <br />- Чтобы воспользоваться! <br />- Трусами? <br />- Мной! <br />- Это вряд ли. Посмотри, ты в лифчике? <br />- А что? <br />- Ну, если в лифчике, то не пользовался, я на грудь обычно кончаю. <br />- Хам! Сейчас посмотрю. <br />- Внимательнее смотри, даже если в лифчике, гы-гы. <br />- Странно. <br />- Что? <br />- У меня лифчик на животе. <br />- Тха-ха-ха, осталось очки на шее найти и серьги подмышками. Ты странная какая-то. Зачем так одеваешься? <br />- Я?! Может это ты извращенец такой! Может это ты девушкам вниз всю одежду стягиваешь и потом пользуешь, может тебя это возбуждает! <br />- Ага, конечно! И тр*хаю между коленей, а минет в солнечное сплетение. Ты наверное ночью просто сползла из одежды. Вверх. <br />- Сам ты сполз. Посмотри, на тебе презерватива не надето? <br />- Гы-гы-гы, на коленках? <br />- Ой дура-а-а-ак, как я вообще с тобой оказалась тут. На члене! <br />- На члене? Нет. На стекле вижу висит. <br />- Да? Где? А, ужас, значит всё-таки было?! <br />- Не факт. <br />- Почему? <br />- Он висит с той стороны. <br />- А может ты его туда и повесил? <br />- Точно! Стащил тебе трусы до колен, возбудился от этого не подетски, надел презерватив, тр*хнул тебя, потом думаю, надо на улицу быстрей бежать, окно своё гондонами использованными закидать. Закидал. Вернулся к тебе, ты спишь, смотрю на тебя, думаю - что-то не то. И! Эврика! Стянул тебе лифчик на живот, успокоился и сразу уснул. <br />- Псих. <br />- Сама такая. </p> <p>Потом у них всё хорошо было. Они поженились через 2 года.</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:48:08 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=4#p4 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=3#p3 <p>- Алло. <br />- Руслан, здравствуйте, вы где? <br />- Э-э-э-э, секунду. <br />... <br />- Дома! Проспал, Алексей Алексеич, простите грешного! <br />- Ничего страшного. Вычтем из зарплаты. Мне пароль нужен от вашего компьютера. <br />И тут повисла неловкая пауза. Алексей Алексеич первым прервал молчание. <br />- Руслан? <br />- Да. <br />- Мне нужен пароль от вашего компьютера. <br />- Э-э-э. Я забыл. <br />- Как забыли? <br />- Ну, забыл, бывает такое. <br />- Что вы обманываете. Дайте мне пароль. <br />- Я не могу. <br />- Почему? <br />- Не хочу. <br />- Странно, я ваш директор, дайте мне пароль от вашего компьютера. Я имею все права требовать пароль от вашего рабочего компьютера. <br />- А там в кабинете есть кто-нибудь, кроме вас? <br />- Оля. <br />- Дайте ей трубочку. <br />Алексей Алексеич, несколько ошарашенный от таких раскладов, отдал трубку Оле. <br />- Оля? <br />- Да. <br />- Пароль введи в мою винду. <br />- Говори. <br />- Алексеич мудак. <br />- Гы-гы-гы-гы. <br />- Чо ржешь, вводи давай, русской раскладкой, через подчеркивание. <br />- А-ле-к-се-ич. <br />- Алло! Бл*ть, ты вслух-то не ори! <br />- Гы-гы-гы. Не подходит. <br />- Алексеич мудак не подходит? <br />- Ну вот, А-ле-ксе-ич. <br />- Стоп! Тихо. У мудака г на конце должно быть. <br />- Мудаг? <br />- Тихо, бл*! <br />- Подошло. <br />- И смени потом мне пароль. <br />- На какой? <br />- На Руслан-мудаг!, х*ле...</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:45:06 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=3#p3 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=2#p2 <p><a href="http://socrazyschool.winbb.ru/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><img class="postimg" loading="lazy" src="https://s55.radikal.ru/i148/0901/67/baefe26705e0.jpg" alt="http://s55.radikal.ru/i148/0901/67/baefe26705e0.jpg" /></a></p> mybb@mybb.ru (Crazy Princess) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:40:34 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=2#p2 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=1#p1 <p>Благодарим за выбор нашего сервиса!</p> mybb@mybb.ru (sirim94) Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:38:25 +0300 https://camedy.bestbb.ru/viewtopic.php?pid=1#p1